Daughter: “Sign this so I can be on my school’s student council.”
Me: “Oh, ok. You don’t have to have an election or anything, you’re just on it?”
Daughter: “There’s an election, but I’m going to win!”
Actually, everyone in the class was running for third grade student council (except for the five or six math club kids that couldn’t run because it conflicted with their meetings). From the beginning I tried to prepare my daughter for not winning. I just wanted her to be realistic, but she didn’t want to hear any of it. She already had the eternal optimism all political candidates possess, and now her speech was starting to sound like a legitimate politician’s too! For starters, it was full of empty promises:
1. A fundraiser where the (male) vice principal will dress up like a fairy princess.
2. A food drive that ends with the principal in a dunk tank.
She promised her classmates everything short of free candy and all-day recess. For days she practiced her speech, reciting it like Oprah handing out her favorite things….”I want to hold a food drive to get the principal in a DUUUUNNNNNK TAAAAAANNKKK!”
Finally, the big day arrived. In true political form, she was ignoring actual issues (like studying for her math and spelling tests) while only focusing on her speech – but it went off without a hitch. The only problem was the actual vote wasn’t for another two days.
Once again, like a true politician, she used her position of power in the classroom (assignment notebook checker) to get some one-on-one time with the undecided voters. Everyone would be voting for themselves so she strategized the math club kids were going to help her win. On the morning of the vote, while checking notebooks, she passed out fliers reminding these coveted voters about the dunk tanks and princess costumes.
Her hard work paid off, she did, in fact win the election.
I wonder if it’s too early to start printing presidential bumper stickers for the year 2044?
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