Have you heard about Uber and Lyft? They’re kind of like taxi services except the drivers are average joes like you and me, who use their regular car, instead of taxis, to drive people around. I have a friend who drives for Lyft. He seems to like it, makes extra cash and meets new people all at the same time. While I was listening to him talk about it, I thought it seemed like a cool idea. But, since I’m a stay-at-home dad, in order for me to be a driver for Lyft, I’d have to take my kids along with me while I picked people up and took them to their destinations.

I immediately saw all the potential problems this could create.

First, the rider would have to choose very carefully where they sat. He or she could ride shotgun next to me, which would involve sitting on piles of unopened mail, Target receipts, wrappers from suckers the bank hands out and other assorted items in my “mobile office.” If that seat wasn’t desirable, he or she could choose whether to ride in the captain’s seat next to the Blonde Bomber (my daughter), or sit in the third row on sticky sucker sticks and Cheerios between Middle Man (my son) and First Born (my other daughter.)

If I were a passenger and these were my only choices, I’d ask to sit on the roof rack.

Not only would seating be an issue, there would also be some detours along the way. In addition to having riders sit in the carpool line for preschool drop-off and pickup, I’m certain at least once daily there would be an emergency potty stop, where we would have to deviate from our route to find the nearest grocery store or gas station bathroom.

Many Uber and Lyft drivers let the passengers choose the music during the drive.  This would ABSOLUTELY NOT be the case in my van. All passengers would be subject to watching and listening to DVDs such as Rio 2 and Frozen over and over. The only exception to this rule would be if my kids were napping, then there would be the need for absolute silence the entire drive.

Well, it’s pretty obvious being a chauffeur is not in my immediate future, unless instead of offering bottles of water and mints to customers like many Lyft drivers do, I offered my passengers noise-canceling headphones and hazmat suits.

For links to all my blog posts please stop by my Facebook page and check out my all new page on the Indy’s Child web site (formerly True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad). 

The post Why “Dad Taxi” is Not a Successful Business Model appeared first on Dayton Parent Magazine.

Get there early, waste time in line waiting, pick up your kid first.
Get there late, waste time waiting in line, pick up your kid last.

Whichever path you choose, you’re stuck waiting. The carpool line at preschool is kind of like a traffic jam you voluntarily put yourself into each day.

When I’m sitting in line, I’m most likely on my phone, reading the news, listening to NPR, checking things out with my blog, on FB or Twitter… stuff like that. But recently I’ve found something more interesting to do with my time – watch other people while THEY wait. The last couple of weeks I’ve noticed several types of people in the pickup line

The Overextended Mom
I’m not sure how this parent keeps her sanity, clearly getting no break from children all day long. Even though she’s picking up two or more kids from carpool, she has at least three others that are too young for preschool in her 15 passenger van.

The Excessive Groomer
Everyday it’s something: nail clipping, pimple popping, makeup applying, etc.

The Socializer
This person is always out of his or her car, talking to everyone, every day, and usually oblivious when the carpool line actually starts moving.

The Phone Talker
This parent is on the phone while pulling into the lot, waiting for pickup, while the teacher brings kids to the car, while the teacher tries to talk about the child’s day, and when driving away.

The Organizer
I thought I’d seen it all, until this person opened her sliding van door and I peered inside. It was perfect, not full of junk and clutter. There was a small plastic carousel organizer full of neatly arranged crayons. What? I’d never seen anything like it. And in the backs of seats where my kids’ stuff all their trash, hers was full of coloring books, regular books, normal kid stuff. It was amazing.

Let me know what types of people you’ve seen in carpool line at my True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad Facebook page!

The post My View from the Carpool Line appeared first on Dayton Parent Magazine.

Why are parents so confused and disoriented looking all the time? Maybe it’s because while parenting is based so much on repetition and routine, it is also constantly changing. Just think of some of the ways parents change as their kids age.

First, there’s Pre-parenting. Pre-parenting is a delusional stage, where the expectant couple thinks they are going to do things differently than all parents that ever existed before them. Pre-parents think having a child won’t change their weekend and social behavior, and that a child can just be dragged along to all the usual activities (dining out, impromptu weekend getaways, etc.) Pre-parents say things like, “We’ve had a dog as a pet for a few years…how much different could it really be?”

The next phase of parenting, The Newborn Phase, hits new parents like a brick wall. The Newborn Phase (also known as the Dark Days) is a scary place to be. Sleep deprivation firmly sets in. Simple things like going to the grocery store or taking a bike ride, now take planning, effort and coordination with others. Spending time with friends is unlikely because of “the schedule.” When you do see your friends all you do is talk about the baby.

One of the worst phases occurs after the Newborn Phase, The Perfect Parent Phase. As the baby gets a little older, parents revert back to their pre-parent cockiness. Perfect Parents only purchase handmade wooden toys AND put them all away each night. They make their own baby food and later pack lunches on car trips to avoid fast food.

Perfect Parents only last so long before they crack under the pressure they put on themselves. They eventually give up the losing battle of neat play areas and organized toy closets. These parents will also be the first to pull over for a Happy Meal if it buys them 15 minutes of peace and quiet on a road trip.

Parenting. We’re all on this crazy ride together, so we might as well enjoy it.

Stop by Facebook and “Like” my “True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad” page for daily updates and links to all my blogs and columns.

The post [True Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad] appeared first on Dayton Parent Magazine.

Most weekdays I eat breakfast with my kids. But during the week, I’m rushed at breakfast time. This block of time is not only reserved for eating, but also for putting the finishing touches on school lunches, reminding kids to brush their teeth, rounding up books, coats, shoes, signing assignment notebooks and helping to finish the last few “forgotten” math homework problems. It is a rushed experience. We don’t speak much. Our weekday breakfasts are, for lack of a better term, “utilitarian.”

The weekends are a different story. Weekend breakfast is a whole family ordeal that involves eggs, homemade waffles or pancakes and lots of bacon. We sit around and talk for a while, usually about what we want to do that day. But what starts off as a whole family discussion quickly turns into a monologue by First Born. Maybe it goes back to the birth order chart, but our oldest cannot be part of a conversation without taking over entirely. My wife and I have lovingly started to call it “The Breakfast Filibuster.”

What may start off as a conversation about family bike rides and trips to the park soon turns into what she wants for Christmas, a list of her best friends, her favorite school lunches or all of us being reminded for the ten-thousandth time that she once stayed up until 2 am, but her brother and sister DIDN”T GET TO DO THAT!

Unlike the government, no supermajority can defeat a filibuster. In our house, there’s no way to block it, we just sit there and wait it out!

<i>Stop by Facebook and “Like” my “True Confessions of a Stay at Home Dad” page for daily updates and links to all my blogs and columns.</i>

The post True Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad appeared first on Dayton Parent Magazine.